Emotional Literacy is important for communicating feelings. One significant part of Emotional Literacy to learn is about emotions. In this blog I am going to talk about how sadness is actually a useful emotion and it tells us about when we have been hurt.
I believe that if we all learn about Emotional Literacy, we can widen the boundaries of our intelligence and we can know how we feel, as well as name and understand our emotions. My past blog posts explain the basics about what Emotional Literacy is and the difference between emotions and feelings. This blog is focusing on the emotion of ‘sadness'. I have also created a video for you to learn more.
When we consider the complex area of emotions, we can simplify it by grouping them into basic ‘families'. For example, the Disney Pixar film “Inside out” has simplified young Riley's emotions into 5 basic emotions: Joy, fear, anger, disgust and sadness. The story is about Riley's life when she is uprooted from her Midwest life and moved to San Francisco with her parents, and her emotions – Joy, Fear, Anger, Disgust and Sadness – conflict on how best to navigate a new city, house, and school. Current neuroscience is showing us how very important it is to know about our emotions as they are very much linked to our thought and decision-making processes.
Throughout the film, the eventual message is that “sadness is as valuable an emotion as joy” and I guess, as with anything, it's about having the right balance.
Most of us avoid negative emotions such as sadness, after all, who wouldn't want positive feelings? Always seeking positive emotions is what Joy, in the film “Inside Out” did throughout the film until she realised that it was the certain emotions of sadness that knew the way to let go and get back to the emotional balance of headquarters.
However, I am not talking about grief and depression here. The very nature of these painful emotions/mental health conditions take you to intense sadness where you can't just respond with a good cry to let things go. If you are depressed or grieving and it is triggering mood swings and repetitive crying spells, then it is important to see a counsellor/psychotherapist because if it stays activated for too long, it can begin to affect your well being in areas such as sleep, eating or hormones and this starts a vicious cycle leading to more sadness.
Please ask for help if you are suffering from depression or grief.
Sadness is a great emotion that gets evoked when you need to let go of something. It isn't the ‘thing' that makes us sad, but sadness helps us to let go of things that aren't working anyway and makes room for things that do work.
What do I need to release/what negative feelings do i need to let go of?
What must be revived, renewed or rejuvenated?
Remember, sadness isn't just about loss. It is our body's way of letting us know that we need to clear things that no longer work and makes space for things that do. For example, when I was a teacher, I always felt sad in July when I had to say goodbye to my class who would be moving up to the next year group. I know that I will still see them but it won't be the same.
I revived my memories and renewed my pride with how well they had grown up and then I was able to let that go otherwise I would not have the same energy for the new class I would have the next year.
Next time you feel sad…
Know that it is ok to feel your feelings. Feeling sad will help you to process your difficult emotions and feelings and will allow you to move on. Take your time and don't rush the sadness process. It can help you to heal. Remember to get help for depression or if you are grieving. You can call me or another professional but please get help.
Every journey is different and there is no “one size fits all” path to transformation. I want everyone to feel acknowledged and validated, so I always invest the time to understand your unique situation, to build trust and create a safe space for us to successfully work together.
Together we will build a trusting relationship and create a safe space for your child to make sense of sad, angry, painful, and confusing feelings and thoughts towards more agreed positive outcomes.
Asking for help is not a weakness! We all encounter difficult times at some point in our lives due to societal norms, our culture, upbringing, and our own expectations. Talking to a trained professional will make a huge difference to your health, happiness, and productivity. I offer psychotherapy treatment for people of all ages, gender, and backgrounds.
When someone in the family has a mental health problem or illness, it affects the entire family’s dynamics and behaviours and sometimes parents and other family members don’t really know how to support them…or themselves. Can you relate? A happy and connected family is possible and I can help you to bridge the gap from frustration to fun.
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