Improves communication between family members
One of the primary benefits of parent coaching is that it can help improve family communication and reduce conflicts. Parent coaching provides a safe and neutral space for each family member to express their thoughts and feelings openly and without judgment, helping you to learn how to listen to and understand each other’s perspectives.
Parent coaching can teach families how to constructively and healthily resolve disagreements. Additionally, it can help families to identify and address underlying issues that may be causing conflict.
Parent coaching can also help to strengthen relationships within the family. Parent coaching provides an opportunity for family members to bond with one another and to build trust. Parent coaching can also help families support one another through difficult times.
Parent coaching can also help to increase understanding within the family. Learn about each other’s cultures, values, and beliefs. Understand your children's behaviour and how to improve their integration into family life. Parent coaching can also help families understand each other’s individual needs and how those can be met.
Through parent coaching, families can explore new ways of relating to one another and solving problems with the support of an accredited psychotherapist. Through therapy sessions with me, I can help families to develop new coping skills and strategies for dealing with difficult situations.
Recent Case Study
Mum is Polish, Dad comes from a South Indian background. So very different parenting styles.
Both in their 40’s
Both have high positions in very demanding jobs – and working from home and homeschooling was stressful
1 boy aged 10 – diagnosed with Oppositional Defiance Disorder
1 girl – aged 6 (shy, not confident, low self-esteem)
This family was really struggling. The boy was controlling the family – He was Angry, irritable, argumentative, defiant, vindictive and spiteful and the parents were in tears because they didn’t know what to do and how to connect with him. They had good intentions and really wanted to help their son. They had tried books, courses, and called the Local authority, applied for CAMHS help but nothing helped.
They came across me (mum had seen me at the Wanstead Festival…and dad has found me from a facebook group – but independently, their neighbour told them about me – so not entirely sure where the referral came from)….and we started working together over a period of time – it wasn’t a seamless journey…there were ups and downs but we remained consistent and determined.
Transformative work and change work takes time.
What transpired was that mum had undiagnosed anxiety and dad had undiagnosed OCD and their mental health issues was impacting their parenting. I supported them in recognising this plus through the assessment, I helped them to realise that they were carrying trauma from their own parents…this intergenerational trauma was being passed down to their son - a bit like passing the baton in a relay race.
I helped them individually with their mental healh issues and then as a couple to sing from the same hymn sheet and work together in their parenting. I also worked with the boy separately. I didn’t need to work with the girl, but I supported the parents to know how to handle both children with tools and strategies
After a while they saw there was progress – they saw that breakthrough…they were transformed - they were feeling empowered, feeling inspired and things started to get better.
As parents, they are on the same page now. They know how to effectively communicate with their children individually and as a whole family and to each other. This is now making the children happier…therefore they are happier parents.
I was able to help them to stop that pattern from repeating to the next generation. My work is transformative at one generational level but …it leaves a legacy of change in the internal working model for the boy who will become a parent one day and pass on this positive parenting to his children.
They do what an idyllic family does - they have quality time playing, talking, enjoying games and they can now go for trips away, restaurants and they booked a holiday which was too embarrassing and a waste of time and money before. The dad said they couldn’t have imagined doing those things because their energy was spent on the oppositional defiance of their son.
We got in touch with Usha because we were running out of options for our 6 year old boy. He had been having bad tempers and violent episodes since he was 2 and they were getting worse as he was getting bigger and stronger. His violent meltdowns were starting to happen at school and as parents we were not on the same page with how to manage him. Lockdown had been particularly difficult for our son and I was listening to so much advice I didn’t know what to do to make it all better.
My partner and I had several sessions with Usha where we learnt how to connect with our son and understand his behaviour more clearly. We worked through simple tasks which helped us gain a better routine and discipline within our home. Our son really benefitted from our one-to-one play sessions and understanding that there would be consequences to his behaviour, rather than punishment. Usha really helped my partner and I get back on the same page - where we had previously had different ideas on how to handle his meltdowns, we finally felt like we had a solid plan to work together on.
After several parent sessions and our son attending some play therapy sessions with Usha, we have seen a huge difference in our son’s behaviour. We feel more connected with him and he obviously feels the same as he will now listen to us (most of the time!) and really tries to control his emotions when facing difficult situations. He has not been violent for several weeks.
When I got in touch with Usha I was at my wit’s end. I was anxious in social situations, confused on how I should handle it all and felt like a failure as a mum. Thank you Usha for making us feel like a family unit again, we are forever thankful!"
Manesh and Kavita Gadher
We decided to embark on a parenting programme as one of our children stopped attending school due to high anxiety issues. We found it incredibly difficult to connect with her and felt lost as parents. It has been incredibly challenging as she is a strong willed child and challenged things we said and was so against us as parents. We wanted our children to be confident, have self esteem and also learn that there are rules and boundaries in a home that need to be respected. More importantly we wanted to learn to connect again with our children again which we felt we lost after the age of 10 years. We wanted to learn to have fun with our children again and enjoy family time without controlling them.
The coaching with Usha has empowered us in many ways, it has taught us to adapt an authoritative style of parenting rather than authoritarian or permissive. It taught us how to give choices, problem solve and show understanding , but at the same time having clear rules and boundaries. You also go on a journey with our own inner child. The coaching has also helped us as a couple to become stronger.
The atmosphere in our home has changed around dramatically since going on the coaching programme with Usha. It is much more calmer, the children understand the rules and boundaries and respecting them. You understand how important it is to be 'present' with your child and give one to one attention.
Usha has really helped us to turn things around, she has always been available to take emails and takes the time to call and talk to you in between sessions if you had a particular concern or were just finding things difficult. The sessions went at our pace which gave us the time to implement things we had learnt in the sessions.
Thanks for all your support
Every journey is different and there is no “one size fits all” path to transformation. I want everyone to feel acknowledged and validated, so I always invest the time to understand your unique situation, to build trust and create a safe space for us to successfully work together.
Together we will build a trusting relationship and create a safe space for your child to make sense of sad, angry, painful, and confusing feelings and thoughts towards more agreed positive outcomes.
Asking for help is not a weakness! We all encounter difficult times at some point in our lives due to societal norms, our culture, upbringing, and our own expectations. Talking to a trained professional will make a huge difference to your health, happiness, and productivity. I offer psychotherapy treatment for people of all ages, gender, and backgrounds.
When someone in the family has a mental health problem or illness, it affects the entire family’s dynamics and behaviours and sometimes parents and other family members don’t really know how to support them…or themselves. Can you relate? A happy and connected family is possible and I can help you to bridge the gap from frustration to fun.
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